Conrad's Birth Story
Birth: April 17, 2012
Written: June 6, 2012
I was scheduled for an induction at
the Rosie, in Cambridge, two days after my due date, which was April
14th. We were admitted into the Lady Mary ward late
morning April 16, where there were 6 beds to a room, with
each bed being separated by curtains. This was exactly what I
dreaded (an institutional-type setting where you were one of many).
As I had gestational diabetes, I sort of relinquished my desire to
give birth as naturally as I could. Being induced meant a harder
labor, so I relaxed my expectations going in, even though I hoped for
the best.
Chris and I played Scrabble whilst
we sat and waited, they took my vital signs and
monitored babies heart and my contractions for a while, before
finally a midwife (who basically had no real bedside manner) inserted
the Propess in the early afternoon (ready, set, insert!). I was a
touch dilated by then. Our midwife was a
foreign national and had poor communication skills. She just came
into our cubicle and did everything without explaining why, we
constantly had to ask her what she was doing and what we should
expect. She told us a story how one patient had recently shouted at
her and we could relate to the poor patient! After inserting the
propess we had to ask her what we should expect next. She indicated
that we should wait an hour or so and then we could go home. We asked
if we could go for a walk while we waited and she said sure. When we
came back from our walk she was leaving the ward as we were coming
back in. We cornered another midwife and asked her what the deal was;
were we going to be checked over before being allowed home? She said
that we could not go home at all, but must stay on ward. We were a
little frustrated at this point.
Now, I thought having midwifery care
would be cool being an American in the UK, but I have seen more
midwives than I could shake a stick at, through this whole process. I
thought, in my naiveté, that I would have one midwife throughout the
whole pregnancy and then she would coach me through birth (sooo not
the case). Now, I did have consistent community care for my prenatal
(or antenatal, as they call them here) check-ups and I did like the
more non-medical approach to pregnancy care. But it was just me and
Chris when it came to asserting any labor coping strategies. All the
midwives did was ask if I wanted pain meds!
We were told that the propess needed
24 hours to work, but I started to feel the intense achiness in the
late evening. I bounced on a large medicine or, excuse me, “birthing”
ball and breathed deeply. Little did I know, this was the “easy”
pre-labor because it just got more and more intense from there. At
that point contractions came every other minute and lasted a minute.
At ten in the evening, all spouses,
friends, birth partners were supposed to leave the Lady Mary Ward
(Seriously? So you will leave laboring women by themselves? Stupid.),
but by then Chris had become a form of back pain relief and I was
beside myself in pain. They let him stay a bit longer. I knew a slew
of birthing positions and even wanted to take a warm bath, but was
afraid of even getting out of bed. I remember breathing and
vocalizing (at one point, Chris told me that I threw out a loud
F-bomb) loudly in a room, full of other women. As I said earlier, all
the midwives did was offer pain meds, so I took paracetamol and
codeine which did no good. Around this time I asked them to check me
and to remove the propess. They had also been
monitoring babies heart rate during since around 8pm and were worried
that he was becoming a little distressed. I was one centimeter
and they hesitated to remove the insert. I just wanted to rest and
start over in the morning, especially if Chris was made to leave.
Just typing this angers me! This is one of the most painful and
vulnerable time in any woman's life and their partner has to leave?
Who made up that asinine rule? I don't care if it's a hospital, you
are serving human beings not cattle.
Having the propess removed didn't
stall labor at all and in the very early morning I was riding wave
after wave of contractions. We were just left to ourselves most of
the time. Chris was angry and said we should have gotten a doula. I
then asked if I could have the pethidine shot, which I do not even
remember them administering, I was so out of it. That promptly made
me vomit twice and then I tried to get some rest. At that time Chris
did go home, thinking I would be good for a while, or at least for
rest of the night. Labor pain came back in full force within an hour,
so I asked them to check my cervix again and for an epidural
(remember, no one was there to help me cope since Chris had gone
home)! They checked and I was 4 centimeters. They finally admitted me
to the delivery unit around 1 or 2 am and called Chris to come back
to the hospital.
Delirious is a good word for how I
felt on the bed ride to the Delivery unit. Most laboring women are
pushed in a wheel chair, but like I said before, I didn't even feel I
could stand. So they kindly let me stay in bed. When I got to my room
(thank the Lord I wasn't sharing that room!) they let me have
Gas and Air (50% Nitrous Oxide and 50% Oxygen) and were talking me
through the side effects of the epidural when Chris came in.
Now, Chris and I had talked through my
birth plan at length for months and he knew I originally wanted a
natural birth. He angrily asked the professionals in the room (at
that time there was the anesthesiologist, delivery midwife,
and a few other random people – random because I cannot remember
why they were there – Christy, there
was just the two people!) if any one of them had even seen my
birth plan, which the anesthesiologist made some sort of dismissive
comment about 'oh, those are just drawn up in a
few minutes and no one takes the that seriously' (So, no, not
one professional asked to see my one-page birth plan during the
entire stay at the hospital.). Chris stated that
he was concerned how quickly I had gone from in control to being out
of control and drugged up, that I
really didn't want an epidural and that he was
worried I would end up having a C-Section. Also,
nobody had showed me how to use the gas and air correctly to receive
the maximum benefit. At that point, since he was there as
support, I wanted to try without it. I clung onto the gas and air for
dear life, though. Funny how quickly I asked for an epidural when
Chris wasn't there. He was my only support, rubbing my back for the
back labor and telling me to breath. I had an IV, and was on a
sliding scale that provided a dose of insulin if my body needed it.
We were also testing my blood sugar every hour, at least. My glucose
levels were all over the place.
Now when the day midwife (I guess
there are two delivery midwives per room) came on duty, around 8 am,
she assessed the situation and we had a talk. She said my ketones
were highlow?, where my body was tired
and using my muscle as energy. She sent Chris for some soda and
gummies to remedy that situation. I thought she was going to say I
needed a c-section at that point, but she recommended an epidural,
since they were going to start me on oxytocin. That sounded a lot
better then surgery, so I consented. She also wanted me to rest for
pushing. I loved to hear that the end was in sight! At that point I
was 6 centimeters dilated – but swollen,
midwife needed you to rest to reduce the swelling, if we had
continued on with you tired and swollen we might have gotten into
trouble.
I just have to say, if it wasn't
obvious already, that Chris was my hero in this. Also, Baby stayed
strong through all the yucky, intense labor drugs. We know because I
was made to wear two monitoring bands on my belly: one to monitor the
intensity of the contractions and the other to monitor Baby's heart
rate. Even before he was born, Conrad, helped out and got his noggin
completely in my pelvis, where it was supposed to go. He turned
around the right way for the birth and his heart rate stayed strong.
Go Little Man! This was a family effort.
Staying still through multiple
contractions for the epidural to go in, was one of the hardest feats
I have ever done. Holy cow! After it was done, I had four lines
coming out of my left wrist and an epidural line in my back (which I
didn't even feel). Oh, and a convenient catheter! When I was all
numbed up, Chris and I both napped off and on for the whole
afternoon. I was chattering away, like the little monkey I am, and
Chris commented that regular, old Christy had returned. After resting
and some sugar, my ketones returned to normal, too. The contractions
kept rolling and we watched them on the monitor, along with Baby's
heartbeats. Sleep felt like heaven and knowing Chris was resting,
too, made me feel good. My midwife assured me that my next babies
will come easier and I hope she is right. She told me how it was hard
for her to see me in so much pain when she first went on duty. She
seemed to really know her stuff and both Chris and I trusted her.
I think at four,
or maybe 6 pm, she had checked and the swelling had gone down a lot.
Come 7 pm, Midwife checked my cervix, and I was ready to roll!
I was fully dilated at 10 centimeters and she quickly set up the
fancy bed (the bottom half went down for delivery and up came the
stirrups!) and got warm blankets. At first pushing seemed like a
welcomed game, where Midwife would tell me to silently bear down at
the peak of the contraction. It got insanely difficult when Conrad's
head was half-way out and I was told to wait until that peak. All I
wanted to do was push. In fact, the urge to bear down or push was
with me since early labor and it made my cervix swollen, in the end.
While Conrad's head was hanging half way out, Chris said I grew
unresponsive, with my eyes rolling to the back of my head. All I
remember is hearing the midwife calling my name and telling me to
stay with her.
Pushing only took about 30 minutes and
Baby Conrad was suddenly out with that next push and placed on my bare
belly. I was SO happy and amazed. He wasn't crying, just sort of
snorting, breathing heavy and looking around with
one eye open. The midwife got the placenta out with an
injection and mended a 2nd degree tear (a tear in the
muscle tissue) all while I marveled at my precious little baby.
Conrad then pooped on my tummy – I didn't mind one iota, Get it
out, Little One! The Midwife seemed just as proud as we were and said
that “no one delivers her babies.” She also did not like to send
women to theatre (to get a c-section). So, I think in the end, I got
what I wanted, a vaginal delivery.
April 17th at 7:59 pm,
Conrad was born weighing 7 pounds and 11 ounces with Apgar scores of
9 and 10. When we got him home we measured him and he was 21 inches
long. I still remember how good he smelled (they didn't bathe him at
the hospital – so he had such a good, natural smell). My Little
Miracle.