If I were a Jedi knight
And somebody started a fight
I'd laugh and say alright
Then Jedi mind trick them 'I don't want to fight'
If I were a Jedi knight
And it was late at night
And somebody mocked my height
I'd jedi mind trick them 'this jedi is not small, I've made an oversight'
If I were a Jedi knight
And I booked an international flight (economy class)
But when I sat down in those small seats my pants were to tight
I'd alter them to make them more comfortable by using my sabre-light
If I were a Jedi knight
And I lost my voting right (Due to having moved to a different county to that in which I normally voted, and then having waited to long to register an out of county vote)
I'd get very uptight
And not be very polite (until I realised it was my own silly fault, then I'd apologise just like Yoda would have taught me)
If I were a Jedi Knight
And got a mosquito bite
Whilst fixing my ultraviolet light (for wiping Eproms)
I'd go crazy nuts on that mosquito, then feel a little contrite (not the Jedi way)
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